how do you struggle for understanding
or attempt to grasp at something
without alienating your subject?
to wallow in postmodern hyper conscious of everything
leaves me one step behind enjoyment
and bound in anxiety!
and stuck in modes of thought,
I can't even remember how to have a good time,
because there I am
at the moment
I so want to save-or
and then it's lost
and it shouldn't matter!
the struggle subsumes the subject
and left holding life contemplation is nothing
perhaps that's why I don't like acid anymore
it leaves me trying to figure out everything.